When to start dating again after a death
Take it day by day, listen to your gut, and don’t be afraid to venture out.If the time is right, and the person is right, you’ll know. ___________________________________________ To provide an opportunity to continue this discussion, we have a created a new forum on Dating Again After the Loss of a Spouse.
Believe that they have good intentions for you, thank them for their concern, and move on with what you know is right for you without letting anyone else’s influence shake the foundation that you are trying to rebuild.Is just the thought of having to start over, to put ourselves out there just too overwhelming or too exhausting?Is it that the endeavor seems worthless as there will simply never EVER be someone as perfect for us as the partner we lost?– perhaps this should be broken down into the not interested in dating again EVER or the not interested in dating right now. Most grievers will say that when family or friends try to push them back into the dating pool before they’re ready, they feel that these people simply don’t understand them, or the depth of the love and grief they feel for their spouse who has died.But for the sake of this article I think we’ll put them in the same category as one of the better things a person or griever can do is stay in the present moment. So the issue here is not so much of a “should I or shouldn’t I venture out into the dating world?Even within our own family, our experiences within that family can be so unique that we have a completely different set of morals, values, and coping mechanisms than our siblings.
In the larger world, we need to think about where we were raised, what part religion played in our life, as well as so many other factors like money, education, etc.
Know that it is possible to be committed and devoted to your late spouse while still wanting to grow and move forward and find happiness again.
At the same time recognize that companionship and joy can come from many many places, and that a romantic relationship can be a very big step.
And is it fair that a griever has to cope with this tremendous grief while also answering questions from family and friends about whether they plan to date again?
Or is it fair that a griever may face judgement from those who think that they aren’t ready to date or believe they shouldn’t? Just as every person is unique, so is their reaction to the losses they face.
For some, just the mention of dating again can cause such a negative and visceral reaction -I’ve seen grievers walk out of presentations where this topic was only one small part of the conversation. Does it a feel like a sense of betrayal to the deceased?