Still dating dad
He was new to Los Angeles, my hometown, and didn’t have all that much of his life together.
But the right person — when he or she comes along — will want to know all of it.Plus, he kind of looked like a dad, and I had lost mine a few years back.I leaned into him hard those next few months, and he became the solid body next to me I could grab and cry into.We moved into a one-bedroom apartment together because I didn’t feel like going back to my apartment alone. “You’re not going to be able to be the most stable, self-actualized version of yourself when you’re going out and dating people and figuring out whether or not you’re going to be a good match for them,” Cummins adds.At the time I felt claustrophobic and suffocated in my own body. Unsurprisingly, I also felt suffocated sharing a 700-square-foot apartment with my partner. I was feeling particularly agitated and angry about my mother’s death one afternoon, and I told him I was going to go running. The endorphins only served to make me angrier, and I came back and slammed a shot of tequila. As much as I love tequila and welcome an afternoon margarita with friends, this was for sure not the most stable version of me.She recently lost a parent figure, and like with my mother, it was unexpected.
She has the soul of someone who understands pain but also wants to create beauty.
At times the water is warm and buoyant; other times it is cold and so heavy you think you will drown.
Both experiences require a ton of emotional energy and self-reflection, and when you combine them — well, it can be intense.
I dated a guy who talked to me about his techniques for lucid dreaming and his strategies for mindfulness.
And then I met a woman, and this one felt different.
Those first few months in that apartment, I felt a specific type of aloneness I had never before in my life experienced — I felt I had no safety net, no backup, no one watching over me. I didn’t stop going to work, I didn’t stop traveling, I didn’t stop dating casually and having sex, and I didn’t stop reaching out to friends for help.