Not good looking enough for online dating
It's funny that no matter how enlightened and self-actualized we are, our rearing and cultural-norms can subconsciously come back to bite us.I've been on many dates with men that say they want a confident women, and want to have fun on weekends.
They want a partnership where both people are pulling together to accomplish goals they both share. Most of them do not want to dominate someone else, ridicule someone else or use them to their own purposes at the price of injuring them. Most of them are not playing out a drama from their past in which either the woman or the man comes out on top.They want to feel that they are so closely tied to someone else that what one person feels, the other one feels also; and what the other person achieves is their achievement also.If a person who has been disappointed over and over again can accept this obvious truth (after all, other couples come together) it is possible to think about what that person is doing wrong.One particular Monday evening she was especially distraught and angry.She spent the entire session railing against the shortcomings of all the men she had ever known.Then, of course, they have to make an effort not to suggest immediately that they suspect this next person has just stepped out of a cesspool.
Then, if things go wrong systematically later in the relationship a serious, non-judgmental attempt should be made to discover and fix the problem.
It is not that something is wrong with him/her; it is that that person is something wrong.
The most common mistake is to hesitate to reach out systematically to others who are themselves interested in meeting someone.
The person left behind has another reason to feel undesirable.
Every once in a while, a reader writes in to remind me that it is possible for single people to live happily.
I saw a woman, Thelma, in psychotherapy twice a week, on Monday and Thursday evenings.