Gentle people dating
Before my diagnosis, we had a normal and exciting relationship—I thought of him as my best friend. Our carefree, college romance was suddenly derailed by a real life crisis.
This time I knew it wasn’t going to be perfect and there’d be times I’d have to remind myself of the distance between who I was and who I used to be, but I did it—we did it.Feeling as though I had lost everything—except him—I leaned into that love even harder.I held onto him like a safe harbor in the eye of the storm.Perhaps it was because he had a heart that saw me for me.Perhaps it was because life knocked me off my feet and I had the opportunity to begin all over again with a new sense of self and insight. Over the years I taught Andrew how to be there for me.During those moments I felt out of control and I was convinced I was having a heart attack or symptoms of some serious physical illness.
The more they happened, the more I feared them happening again. With my mom’s encouragement, I hesitantly agreed to see a therapist and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Until that day at the end of the summer I had never turned my focus inward; never thought about how I was feeling.
What was already heavy got heavier and the bandwidth of my pain expanded into depression and worsening anxiety.
Losing him meant losing the last sliver of a former life. When I started dating Andrew, it had been a year since the breakup.
After our breakup, I discovered devastating pain that I didn’t know was possible.
My mental health continued to plummet, even more rapidly than before.
I know the thoughts can get loud and the pain can feel heavy but at the beginning of each morning and the end of each night and every moment in between…you are still worthy.