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Dating an older coworker

and it puts an awful lot of unfair pressure on her. He has developed a close friendship with one of the managers, Jane, who reports to him. They spend most of each day alone with each other in one or the other’s office.

If you don’t see those things, that means you’ll need to back off.Her team is a revolving door and those with tenure resent her and my manager.We have discussed this with my manager and he seems unconcerned about the problems.Yeah, even if your boss and Jane aren’t actually having an affair, they’re behaving so intimately with each other that of course people will worry about favoritism and bias.Throw in that your boss has shown that he’s not willing to act on problems with Jane, and it gets worse.Plus, you'll have more to talk about over dinner and a bottle of Malbec if you actually did things separately that day. You'll suddenly go from someone who dated a worker to "that girl" who only dates people from your office.

And why would you want to be known as the person who only fishes in the company pool?

This goes beyond just physical PDA — keep conversations at the office related to the job. You'll end up looking far worse and pettier than the object of your anger. It's much more satisfying to succeed on your own merit, and everyone else will appreciate your achievements more if you've earned them. And, if you're more interested in keeping it light, it's always more fun to talk about, well, anything besides work. Try doing your own thing: Take Italian classes, learn to code, see your girls — anything to maintain identity.

Shelve last night's argument or tonight's dinner plans while you're there. It'll keep you sane and even better, the heart grows fonder with a little distance — even if it's just for a few hours. If you break up with a coworker, do yourself a favor and don't date another one.

They frequently travel together for domestic and international work travel.

This has created an environment in which the rest of us don’t trust our boss or our peer because of the relationship.

Get to know the new guy as a friend before you two cross the line. If things don't work out and there's a messy breakup, are you prepared to still see or interact with this person every day?