Dating after mastectomy
Losing a breast (or two) exposes you to a vulnerability you have never known. I was left with the questions I have pondered more then I care to admit – will he find me attractive, will he be aroused, will he touch them?
One guy asked me why I didn't go for a D cup when I got reconstructive surgery.However, something I do not talk much about are the challenges of being a single woman in the dating world after having major reconstructive surgery on my breasts.After my tumor was removed, I chose to have a double mastectomy."I found out I had breast cancer when I was 47, just three years after I had gotten divorced, and just a few months before I gave in and decided to try online dating.When I found out I had breast cancer, I Immediately decided to write that on my profile.I know this sounds crazy, but after the pain I went through and becoming a breast cancer survivor, I didn't want to spend my days embarrassed about my chest.
I would proudly take off my top and show guys what my boob-less self looked like.
From the minute I decided to look for a relationship, finding a man who would be okay with my breasts was paramount on my mind.
I’d read and re-read profiles, trying to determine if I could find some clue deeming the man was sensitive enough to learn about my breast cancer journey, but also not looking for physical perfection in a woman.
I'm thankful for his patience and acceptance, but my personal adventure toward being comfortable having sex again took over two years." - Michelle S., 43"After my mastectomy, I gave up on dating. Since all of this, I haven't gotten remarried, but I did find myself in two long relationships, where both men were completely okay with my body and my lack of breasts.
I was widowed for five years and had an active dating life before, but after, I had no desire. That was reassuring because It was not what I expected." - Diane A., 49"Dating is hard enough without having had a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.
As I moved forward with a few first dates, there was great relief when none of them led to a second. This is not a story about my online dating experiences.