Dating a wealthy older man
"Because of that," she said, "there’s a bias toward seeing women who are married to high-status men—who are themselves high-status—as being more attractive.
In so doing, scientists misidentify matching as exchange.“Scientists are humans, too,” Finkel claimed, “and we can be inadvertently blinded by beliefs about how the world works.But Mc Clintock found that outside of ailing tycoons and Donald Trump, in the practical world it basically doesn’t exist. Economically successful women partner with economically successful men, and physically attractive women partner with physically attractive men.“Sometimes you hear that really nice guys get hot girls,” Mc Clintock told me, “[but] I found that really nice guys get really nice girls.[Being nice] is not really buying you any currency in the attractiveness realm. Number one was "kind and understanding," followed by "exciting personality" and then "intelligent." Men did say they valued appearances more highly than women did, and women said they valued "good earning capacity" more highly than men did—but neither ranked measures of physical attractiveness or socioeconomic status among their top considerations. Experiments that don’t rely on self-reporting regularly show that physical attractiveness is exquisitely, at times incomparably, important to both men and women.Status (however you want to measure it: income, formal education, et cetera) is often not far behind.The truth is, people are evaluating women for their looks, and they’re evaluating men for their looks.
Women are as shallow as men when it comes to appearance, and they should focus on their own accomplishments.
The studies that only looked at men’s (but not women’s) income and only looked at women’s (but not men’s) attractiveness were problematic in that way, as was the peer review process that allowed flawed papers like that to be published.”“Controlling for both partners’ physical attractiveness may not eliminate the relationship between female beauty and male status,” Mc Clintock wrote, “but it should at least reduce this relationship substantially.” Even as its pervasiveness in popular culture is waning, the gendered beauty-status exchange model is harmful in several insidious ways, Mc Clintock said.
“It trivializes the importance of women’s careers in a social sense: It’s telling women that what matters is your looks, and your other accomplishments and qualities don’t matter on the partner market.
Rather, hearteningly, people really are looking for ... Finding those things is driven by matching one's strengths with a partner who’s similarly endowed, rather than trying to barter kindness for hotness, humor for conscientiousness, cultural savvy for handyman-ship, or graduate degrees for marketable skills.
At least partly because physically attractive individuals are treated preferentially by the world at large, they enjoy improved school performance, greater occupational success, and higher earnings.
Although, I call J "Kid" in this super-cute, ironic way. Whether that's a mature twenty-something, an immature thirty-something, or a quirky lady living with three dudes like Jess.