Dating a shy coworker
If a man isn’t a good fit for you, The Rules will “work” by revealing early on that you are incompatible.That may seem like a disappointing result at first, but it's a powerful gift in the long run. Study my flirting tips if you want to know how to enchant a man who tends toward a more subtle, quiet personality.
There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.Extroverts can hold their own and fight fire with fire.But if you admire a man with a more subtle style, you have to be careful not to overwhelm him with your eagerness, or nudge him into "going along" passively with your agenda.That's not "dating a shy man," that's accepting crumbs from a guy who is just killing time.Let’s go through these scenarios, one by one, and note the difference between a true Shy Guy and one whose feelings are simply lukewarm: As Rules women know, we don’t “do the rules” on men.You could find yourself in an entanglement with a man who's not really sure how or why he got there.
FROM ASTRID & MIYUIf you identify with any of these situations, I will let you in on a secret: the “problem” in each of these scenarios is not that the man is shy or inexperienced.
But I don’t know many women who enjoy being the good-enough-for-now option.
If each woman in situations 1 - 7 were to get the ball rolling herself, or help the man date her and make excuses for his behavior, she would simply be prolonging the agony of being in a go-nowhere entanglement.
The underlying issue is that he is just not interested enough in starting up a relationship with that particular woman.
Sure, he’d be okay with having casual sex with her and hanging out until something better comes along.
This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LICSW.