Dating a man who is a single parent
Cleaning is one of my favorite forms of therapy, likely because if I'm in a highly cluttered space physically, that transfers mentally and makes me feel like a stressed-out trashcan.Very early in this relationship, I suggested I help my boyfriend with an intense cleaning sesh of his kitchen.
I've never considered my income sizable until I started thinking of the glaring fact that I don't have to split it with anyone.Playing Mother to a series of adult Peter Pans got old, so this kind of attitude is a very welcome change of pace. If your cat got secretly sick and he steps barefoot into a pile of barf, he doesn't love it but he understands that happens (probably because he has experience direct skin-to-someone else's-barf contact before).He also doesn't panic about periods or farts or other body stuff.I'd like to say this exercise made me resurrect toxic romantic relationships as healthy friendships, but that hasn't quite happened yet (and with some specific ones, I honestly can't see that ever happening).More than anything, I think it's helped me recognize the hard fact that all humans have faults and, in general, good intentions. (Though to be fair, I can't take credit for the calendar.I used to let envy blind me badly in the past—even if a boyfriend managed to remain congenial with an ex, the whole bond made me feel rattled as hell.
Now that I'm with a person who's ex will be around in a close way forever and ever amen, I have to be OK with that. We can't let ourselves feel threatened for no viable reason.
When the relationship was brand-spankin' new, a lot of close friends lamented renditions of, "I could never DATE A PARENT." They echoed sentiments of kids being deal breakers. Everyone has a past and brings baggage into a relationship. Although, of course, I find my partner's child a deeply charming, fun, hilarious little human who doesn't qualify as "baggage." You know what I mean.
A man willing and thrilled to take on the dad role shows commitment.
This can be a difficult quality to find in this world of overgrown Peter Pans on the hunt for their own Mother figure—a person to handle all the less savory household duties, remind them to go to the doctor, praise them constantly, hinge their daily or long-term plans on what Pan wants or says he needs.
This situation is different, because he already takes on that role for his child while still taking decent care of himself.
It's kinda unbelievably cute to watch them nerd out on fatherhood together. Granted, I'm a fairly petite person and my boyfriend's child is seven.