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This confusion can send us into a tailspin of obsessive anxiety trying to rationalize or figure out what the avoidance means. A It’s not that we need to give up dating apps or texting as a form of communication.Texting relationships have an aspect of controlled exposure, with a lower risk of rejection. But if we don’t practice in real life, then we lose the muscle of social and emotional intelligence in dating. It’s that we need to find a way to stay connected to our moral compass, our integrity, and our intuition.

When you’re on the receiving end, you don’t know how to interpret those behaviors, again because you’re not looking at or even hearing the voice of a live person.A It’s an interesting paradox: Tech has become this extraordinary mediating interface in our effort to find and connect with others, escape our loneliness and boredom, and distance ourselves from one another—all at the same time.These are the three broad shifts I see, and they all have costs.It's easy and free, and as you gain the confidence you can follow it up with a message. Our dedicated, award-winning support team are only a quick email away should you need help.We also have loads of advice covering everything from dating, relationships and faith by top Christian writers on our Christian dating blog.It’s important to be able to notice if we’re acting compulsively and to be able to draw limits with ourselves and with others.

“Disjointed, abbreviated, and edited communication on different digital platforms creates an illusion of coherency, but the net experience is fragmentation, along with a lot of speculation.” Our use of technology also diminishes our capacity to attune to ourselves and others.

By attunement I mean a quality of attention that is connected, present, and responsive.

When we communicate primarily through our phones and screens, we don’t have the benefits of body language, eye contact, and all the other expressive ways our bodies communicate to help us understand each other.

Every day Christians meet on the boards and discuss topics from Christian dating experiences, church life, to current events.

Illustration by Chris Delorenzo Is it a purple-eggplant or a row-of-hearts relationship? And what context does this particular “hey” belong in?

Christian Connection runs regular events where you can meet other single Christians in a fun, relaxed environment.