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Being too accommodating in a relationship

being too accommodating in a relationship-48

So being truthful is about being able to express how you feel about a situation.But behaving in a helpful manner is quite a different story. Well I suppose it is easier to look at it from the opposite perspective and say what is not helpful.

But once the dust has settled, I ask myself, does it really matter?And perhaps it is true, that they are selfish, but the real problem is not being addressed because it is buried deep in your soul.Perhaps the underlying problem is that you don’t actually trust them.You cannot begin to assume that you know what they are experiencing or feeling or thinking.So being truthful is about your experience and feelings and thoughts.Also, being truthful can only be in relation to yourself.

You can’t be truthful about someone else’s experience.

Any conflict consists of at least 2 parties after all. A few years back, I had a friendship which started to deteriorate and I really tried to accommodate her. I know enough about the psyche to know that to be truthful is very difficult, especially with yourself; unconscious complexes driving us to believe in a certain point of view often obscure any attempt at realising the “truth”.

But, It really isn’t that easy to turn the other cheek. But eventually it was so untenable that when I finally did end the relationship, my feelings were so hurt that it took me months to get over it. If it is truthful and helpful, wait for the right time. (being wise has been a lifelong goal for me :-))These wise words have a goal and that is to be truthful and helpful at all times towards others. And then there is the problem of reaching deep down inside and finding the root of your anger or dissatisfaction.

Conflict certainly tests those boundaries and confrontation is never easy.

People are generally not aware of what they say or how they behave.

Let’s say that your colleague is trying to outdo you to get a promotion and they are spreading rumours about you. It is not helpful to be cruel, demeaning, rude, bitchy, bossy, bullying, spiteful, hurtful, horrible, selfish, and vengeful.